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The Art of Redemption

Chapter 4

BPOV

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Dear God, make it stop!

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Or not. Instead of hitting the snooze button, I turned the alarm off and reluctantly tore the covers off my body. I rolled out of my bed and padded my way to the bathroom. I turned on the shower faucet and stripped from my pajamas while I waited for the water to heat up. Once hot, I stepped in and let the hot water wake my tired body.

After my shower I styled my hair and got dressed in some black yoga pants and a turquoise v-neck t-shirt with a white lace trimmed cami underneath. I shuffled around my closet, found my black ballet flats, and slipped them onto my feet. I didn't plan on going anywhere and with the discussion I had coming up later with Jasper, I really wanted to be as comfortable as possible. It was bad enough that I was talking about it at all. I had spent so long trying to forget that I started to believe it never did. But seeing Jasper last week sent everything flying back at me and I knew I could no longer lie to myself.

After I finished dressing, I walked out to the living room and started setting up the DVD player. I didn't actually know when Jasper was coming back over so I figured I might as well do something to pass the time. I rarely had an opportunity to watch my favorite civil war movies anymore now that I was living with Drew. As much as I loved Drew, he could be a royal pain in the ass when he complained about all of the civil war memorabilia in the apartment. He thought I was crazy…and in hindsight, maybe I was. However, the civil war was my past, present, and future and I really didn't give a rats ass what Drew thought. I decided to major in American history and get my teaching certificate so I could become a high school history teacher.

That was another reason he thought I was crazy…getting my Master's degree just to become a minimum wage high school teacher. The one thing he couldn't understand was that it isn't about the money. It's about finally teaching history the right way. Teaching people what really happened without bias. I was so sick and tired of hearing teachers say that the civil war was fought over slavery and that the North had a better reason for fighting and the Confederacy was bad. End of fucking story. I wanted to teach them both sides of the story; what both sides were fighting for.

There was a soft knock at the door, successfully breaking me from my mental tirade. "Just a second!" I called while turning on the DVD player and popping in the DVD. I stood up and strode over to the door, tripping on the corner of the area rug Drew insisted we have. "Stupid fucking rug," I mumbled under my breath.

I made it to the door unscathed, barely, and opened the door to reveal a smiling Jasper. He looked fucking amazing in a pair of low hung dark wash jeans, a black fitted t-shirt that hugged his deliciously muscular body, and a pair of square toe cowboy boots. I was so used to seeing Jasper in his Italian loafers and damn cashmere sweaters that I'm sure Alice insisted he wear. I liked this version of Jasper so much more; it suited him.

"Was the rug giving you a hard time there Darlin'?" Of course he had heard me. He smirked playfully and I almost forgot how to breathe.

"It has a personal vendetta against me and tries to trip me every chance it gets," I joked. I really didn't like that thing. "Come in," I said, opening the door further to allow him entry into my apartment.

"I come with a peace offering," he said with a smirk, holding out a cup of Starbucks coffee. I smiled brightly at him. "I didn't know what you liked, so I hope its okay," he said.

"Thank you that's very…sweet," I said honestly, taking the cup of coffee from him. Our fingers touched from the briefest of moments and I found some comfort in the contrast of our temperatures. "I was just about to watch a movie. Care to join me?"

"Well it depends…it's not some sort of chick flick is it?"

"I wouldn't make you sit through that torture. Besides, that's what I have Drew for. If you don't particularly like chick flicks, I should warn you now…don't come over on Monday nights."

"What's Monday?"

"McConaughey Monday. On nights there is nothing decent on TV, we watch our chick flicks, Monday's are dedicated to the hotness that is Matthew McConaughey," I explained. "But right now, I was planning on Gods and Generals, unless you want to watch something else…"

"I haven't seen it since it came out. The Civil War wasn't exactly Alice's favorite topic," he chuckled lightly.

"Well, I'm not Alice and the Civil War happens to be my favorite topic. So, take a seat and make yourself comfortable. Mi casa es su casa," I said with a small smile. Jasper returned my smile with one of his own, which made me smile more. I was starting to think I would do anything just to see him smile. Jasper sat on one side of the couch and I sat at the other, curling my legs up underneath myself. I took a sip of the coffee, enjoying the sweet, bitter taste of the caramel macchiato as the warm liquid flowed down my throat.

The movie started and we were both soon completely entranced with the movie on the screen.

Watching the movie with Jasper was a completely new experience. He was just like me, only in male form. Both of us were cheering after the first battle of Manassas as we watched Union soldier after Union soldier fall under the hands of the South. Throughout the movie, predominantly throughout the boring dialogue, Jasper kept explaining what it was like in the Confederate camps in detail and I couldn't help but wonder how he knew all of this.

At the end of the movie, a tear ran down my cheek as I watched Stephan Lang take Stonewall's dying breath and utter his last words, "Let us cross over the river, and rest under the shade of trees." I could feel the sorrow and respect coming from Jasper as he bowed his head.

"It's just so sad," I said quietly as the credits rolled. "I mean, he gets his arm amputated and then fucking dies from pneumonia!" I chuckled.

"Disease was very common back then and the doctors didn't have the knowledge that they do now. Pneumonia was one that struck often and was mostly fatal. The conditions in which we lived in camps weren't exactly…sanitary and disease spread fast. Soldiers had less to fear from bullets than they did disease." The use of 'we' did not go unnoticed.

"We?" I asked with a raised brow. Was he implying that…Oh. My. God.

Jasper smirked. "Bella, what did Edward tell you about my past?"

"Just that it was yours to tell," I said, smiling softly. I wanted to know; I wanted to know everything about Jasper Whitlock.

"It was 1861 when I joined the Confederate States Army," he started with a smirk. "I was always a really charismatic person so it didn't take long for me to move up the ranks and become the youngest Major in the Civil war. I was the Major of the 1st regiment of the Texas cavalry," he explained. I felt his pride and I'm sure he could feel my surprise and my own pride. It's not as if I was hiding it as I was currently sitting completely slack-jawed.

Jasper continued to tell me stories and about his experience in the Civil war. The battles he had fought in, the way camp life was, and friends he had made and had to, unfortunately, watch die. By the time he was done, I hadn't even realized that I moved closer to him, completely enthralled by his stories. "I…I had no idea…" I stammered out, not quite knowing what to say.

Real intelligent Bella. I mentally chastised myself…what the hell, I mentally rolled my eyes too.

"So what about you? Why are you so interested in the Civil war?"

"It's in my blood," I said proudly. I looked Jasper who raised his eyebrow and smirked. "Okay, bad choice of words," I laughed. "But seriously though, it is. My great-great-great-however many greats ago grandfather is, believe it or not, General Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson." Now it was Jasper's turn to look at me in shock.

JPOV

I was shocked and I knew she could not only see it, she could feel it. She was the descendant of one of the most influential General's in America's history. If it weren't for Jackson's leadership skills, Lee wouldn't have been able to keep the larger Union armies at bay for as long as he did.

"I found out when I was really young. When I was younger, Charlie always made sure to let me know where I came from. It's because of him that I have such a deep rooted love for the Civil War," she said sadly but with a small smile. Throughout the few times we've spent together, every time Charlie or her mother were brought up, her emotions would immediately shift to sadness and despair; the kind that could only come from mourning the loss of a loved one.

"Bella, what happened to Charlie?"

Bella took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. "Can we talk about this after lunch?" she asked. Her voice was unsure and her emotions were all over the damn place. She went from happy to sad to angry in an instant. Then there was a sudden calm, as if everything was normal. Her stomach grumbled loudly. "And that would be my inner beast demanding sustenance," she chuckled.

"Then we have that in common," I said dryly.

"This is hard for you, isn't it?" Bella got up from her side of the couch and went towards the kitchen. I followed behind her and I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't enjoying the view of her tight little ass in them yoga pants.

"It ain't as bad as it was before," I answered her honestly.

She turned around and smiled at me. "I'm glad."

"Me too, Darlin'."

She walked to the fridge and pulled out the revolting human food. If I had to guess, Bella was making some kind of salad. She went to the cupboard, grabbed a plate, and grabbed a knife from the block on the counter. I cringed and held my breath as I watched her apply pressure to the blade of the knife with her thumb. "Relax, Jasper. I can feel how tense you are. It's not like I'm going to stab myself," she said quietly as she turned around and showed me her thumb. "See, no blood. There may be blood later after I stab my roommate for not sharpening my good knives!" she huffed. I let out the breath I had been holding. She took out a white plastic cutting board and started cutting the apple.

I just stared at the apple, praying she wouldn't slip with the knife. My control was a lot better than it had been at her birthday; but that didn't mean I wanted to take any chances.

She paused before slicing the fruit, "you would feel better if you were cutting this. Wouldn't you?"

"I would. My control is better but that doesn't mean we should take risks like this."

"You should have more faith in yourself. You're lack of self-confidence is rather unnerving," she said, setting the knife down on the cutting board. I took over chopping the apple while she piled a plate with some sort of lettuce, chicken, and oranges.

"So what are you studying in school?"

"I'm working on my masters in American history." She kept her answer simple and to the point. It was driving me nuts. "I want to teach someday so I'm going to be getting my teaching certificate after I graduate."

"It's only been four years Bella, how can you already be in graduate school?"

Bella stopped arranging the lettuce and fruit on her plate and just stood, completely frozen. "I took a lot of credits during the normal year and piled on summer courses."

Why didn't she go home? I finished chopping the apple and set the knife down. Bella grabbed a handful and sprinkled it on to the top of her salad. She picked up the knife and cutting board and placed them in the sink before putting the bag of salad away. Without saying another word, she picked up her salad and walked over to the small wooden table in the breakfast nook. She pulled out one of the white chairs and sat down. I sat in the chair across from her. She wasn't talking much and I wasn't going to push her.

"This is harder than I thought it would be," she whispered shakily, "I haven't talked about this. At all. In fact, I've avoided this like the fucking plague…trying to believe in a different story…trying to believe that none of this happened."

I placed my hand over her free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, Bella."

"Yes, I do."

BPOV

Having Jasper's hand over my own gave me all the confidence in the world; like I could conquer anything that got in my way. It made me feel…complete. I took a bite of my salad and reveled in the taste of the chicken, orange, and apples mixing and dancing on my taste buds.

"Life hasn't exactly been the easiest. After Edward left my sorry ass in the middle of the woods and the family I had come to love as my own ditched me without so much as a fuck you, my life completely fell apart. I spent the first three months after you guys left in a complete state of catatonia. The lights were on but nobody was home and I was starting to wonder if they were ever coming back. I really couldn't tell you what happened during those three months. And then, Jacob came back into my life…" I paused with a heavy sigh. "He was able to pick a few of the shattered pieces of my heart but I was still never whole. Edward may not have believed it but I loved with everything I was. Nevertheless, it didn't matter to Jake, he tried to put me back together and eventually he started to. Piece by piece, I was healing. Once I finally let him in, it didn't take long to fall in love with him."

"So do I know this Jacob kid?" Jasper asked with a raised, expectant eyebrow.

"Probably not. Jacob Black didn't go to Forks High; he went to school on the Quileute reservation. I'm sure you've heard of him…he certainly knew your family." Jasper stiffened across the table and a low growl reverberated from deep within his chest. He mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'mangy mutt' but I couldn't quite make it out. "Then I take it you have heard of him."

I knew Jasper was upset since he didn't say anything; he just nodded. I took it as my cue to continue. "The day he proposed was the day my entire life came crashing down."

Flashback: November 19 2007 (Third Person POV)

It was a cool, brisk autumn day in the small town of Forks, Washington; the changing leaves had long since fallen off the now barren trees. The few leaves scattered around First Beach at La Push crunched under Bella's feet as she walked down the surf hand in hand with her boyfriend Jacob Black. Little did Bella know, this day would change her young life forever.

Jacob, still holding Bella's hand, led Bella to a piece of driftwood that was just large enough for the both to sit on. "It's so beautiful out here; so peaceful. I never realized just how much I missed this place until I was away from it."

"You're only a few hours away," Jacob said, placing a loving kiss on Bella's forehead before wrapping a blanket around the both of them. That September, Bella had started taking classes at the University of Washington and often found herself unable to come home on the weekends. Now she was home for the week to spend her Thanksgiving break with her father, his fiancée Sue Clearwater and her kids, Leah and Seth, and Jacob of course.

"I know, it's just so hard to get away from my studies," she sighed. Bella placed her head on Jacob's warm, strong shoulder and he wrapped his muscular arms around her. Bella didn't know how long they had been sitting there just watching as the roaring waves crashed to the rocky beach. Jacob dropped his arm from around Bella's small body and stood up. "Jake?" Bella questioned as she stood up beside him.

"I've been going over the right way and right time to do this, but I can't wait any longer."

The way he said it made Bella fearful and the feeling of rejection that she was all too familiar with came rushing back full force. "Jake, what's going on? You're scaring me," Bella said anxiously. Jacob turned to Bella and could see the fear in her dark brown eyes.

"When I first met you, I instantly thought of you as my best friend. Through the years, we've grown apart and fate brought us right back together. Now here we are, at the very place that we first met all those years ago and as I look at you, not only do I still see my best friend; I also see something so much more; I see my future." Bella took a shaky breath as the realization of where this was going hit her. At the same time, Jacob dropped to one knee and pulled out a small, square black box. "But I can't make that future happen unless you say yes. Isabella Swan, will you be my wife?"

The tears ran down Bella's heart shaped face as she dropped to her knees and threw her arms around Jacob's neck. "Yes," she said through the laughter and tears. "Yes!" Jacob brought his lips to Bella's and kissed her tenderly as the waves crashed in the background. As he pulled away, he whispered the one thing he had been longing to hear; "yes." Jacob stood and helped Bella to her feet. Once up, he took her left hand and slid the ring onto her fourth finger. The fourteen-carat white gold diamond ring fit perfectly onto her petit finger. After the ring was slid into place, he gingerly lifted her left hand to his lips and kissed the ring on her finger.

"I love you, Bella," he said, kissing her lips once more.

"I love you Jacob Black. Forever."

...

Bella and Jacob spent the next hour together at First Beach, watching as the sun began to set over the cold waters of the Pacific ocean turning the sky a glorious mixture of pink, orange, and purple. Bella sighed before getting up from Jacob's lap. "We should get back; I still have to make dinner for Charlie."

On the way home in the worn red chevy truck, a welcome home gift from her father, Bella couldn't help but keep glancing at the beautiful ring that now sat on a very important finger. Just by looking at the ring, she knew Jacob had saved for months for it. 'This isn't how it was supposed to be,' she thought somberly to herself. She knew she was still in love with her lost love, Edward Cullen, and still couldn't get over his betrayal. He had thrown her away like last week's trash and never looked back. Did he think of her? Did he even really love her? The answers were, of course, yes to both. But she didn't know that and to her, none of it mattered now.

"Bells? Where'd you go?" Jacob asked Bella as he drove down the drove towards the Swan residence. Charlie would be thrilled that Jacob and finally popped the big question. And that his little girl said yes.

Bella sighed. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"My life. How I never thought it would turn out like this," she waved her left arm between the two lovers rapidly.

Jacob thought she meant that their relationship was a mistake. That he was a mistake. He was suddenly angry. "I'm sorry I'm not your perfect dream guy Bella. We can't all be cold, dead bloodsuckers," he ground out between clenched teeth.

Now it was Bella's turn to be angry. "Jacob, that's not what I meant!" Bella hissed. "After Edward left me I never thought I was worthy of love!" she yelled while another glistening tear rolled down her check. She crossed her arms defiantly over chest.

"Shit Bells, I'm so sorry," Jacob said, pulling up to the small, white childhood home that Bella shared with her father. "Hey, look at me," he said. Bella shook her head and looked out the window instead. "I shouldn't have said that Bella."

"Why do you always have to bring him up? You know how much it still hurts!" Sure, Edward Cullen had left a brokenhearted Bella Swan in the middle of the woods behind her house a little over a year ago. Nevertheless, the pain was still there and the wound fresh.

"And it always will until you can learn to let it go. Jesus Bella! Sometimes I think that I'm not even good enough for you because I'm not dead and I don't want to constantly kill you!" Jacob said exasperatedly.

"But that's the thing Jake; you are good enough for me; almost too good. I love you…why can't you just accept it?" Bella pleaded. "I said yes Jake. Isn't that enough?"

"Of course it is." Jacob unbuckled his seatbelt, and Bella's, before pulling her into him and wrapping her petite frame in a tight embrace. Bella melted into her fiancée and breathed deep allowing the sandalwood, pine, and cinnamon aroma fill her senses.

Bella wiggled free of Jacob's strong arms. "I love you, Jake. Never doubt that," she said with a small smile. Why he would ever doubt her, she would never know. When Bella loved, she loved with her whole heart. "Now we should go tell Charlie the good news!" she said excitedly, pulling on the door handle and pushing the rusty red door open. Without hesitation, Jacob reached across the cab and abruptly pulled the door shut before Bella could exit the cab.

"Jake?" Bella asked nervously. She knew, deep down, that she didn't have to ask. She knew what was going on. This was the day Bella had been dreading ever since she found the note that read, "sorry I missed you. V," in her room six months ago. "She's here, isn't she?"

Jacob said nothing. His body started shaking furiously as he jumped out of the cab of the truck. He knew he couldn't phase since there was a good chance that someone would see. "Stay here," he told Bella sternly, praying to god that she would finally listen to him.

"Charlie!" Bella screamed in fear for her father.

"Stay here Bella." But of course, Bella didn't. Her door flew open and she was out of the truck and running towards the front door before Jacob could stop her. The front door to the small white house flew open and Bella ran inside. Jake wasn't even a foot behind her.

"Dad!" Bella yelled. There was no response. Bella moved frantically through the house. Jake tried to remove Bella from the house, but she wouldn't go with him. He grabbed for her arm. She knew she couldn't fight him off…he was a shape shifter after all and so much stronger than her. So Bella did the only thing she knew would stop him dead in his tracks; he was, first and foremost, a man. She spun into him and kneed him hard in the groin. Jake dropped to his knees and released Bella with a grunt.

"Dammit Bella," Jake ground out between clenched teeth, covering his manhood. She didn't stop to listen to him or to even see if he was alright. Instead, she ran upstairs. She didn't even make it to the top of the stairs before she saw the trail of blood at the top of the stairs. She looked up to meet the bright crimson eyes of the one person she had been expecting.

"Victoria."

"I've been waiting a long time to see you again, Bella." The female vampire with fiery red hair said sweetly. A chill ran down Bella's spine. Jacob came behind her and pulled Bella behind him.

A low moan from the left, coming from her bedroom, caught Bella's attention. She turned to see where the noise was coming from, tears welling in her brown eyes. "Daddy!" she screamed at the bloody mess of her father. His face was battered with blood trickling out of the gashes in his face and he had a huge gash in his leg, right where the femoral artery ran. He was still alive, but only barely. Victoria walked over to where Charlie's body sat tied to a chair in Bella's room and brought her cold thumb to his face, ran it down his bloody cheek and hummed in satisfaction.

"You're father and I have been having some fun. I had originally hoped to see you but I found your father instead. He and I have had a lovely conversation. Come on Charlie, it's time to wake up now. Your daughter is here," she cooed.

"Get away from him!" Bella screamed trying to step around Jacob. Jacob held her firmly in place. Jacob knew he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He knew he had to phase in order to call for help and take down Victoria; but if he phased, both Bella and Charlie could have been hurt.

"Bells…" Charlie choked out. His voice was nothing more than a harsh whisper. More tears spilled out of Bella's eyes as she brought her eyes to meet Charlie's. Despite the blood, Bella could see the determination to make sure his daughter was safe and the love that he had for her. He knew he was going to die.

"Daddy…" she whispered from her place behind Jacob. Victoria sat silent and smiling next to Charlie.

"Jacob…you get my little girl…out of here…" he stammered to Jacob. Jacob looked at Victoria, who was smiling victoriously, and pure hatred flashed across his face.

"I'll be back for you," Jacob promised.

"What? No! I won't leave him! Take me instead! But please…just leave him alone!" Bella cried out trying unsuccessfully to get around her fiancée.

"I love you Bells…I'm so…proud of you…" Charlie croaked before Victoria stood up and slapped him forcefully across the face, making Charlie's head whip hard to the right. Bella could hear the sickening crack as Charlie's cheek bone shatter from the force of the blow.

Before Bella could protest, Jacob picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and started moving. "NOOOOO! Daddy!" she cried; her arms flailing towards her father and her feet lashing out at Jacob. "LET ME GO!" she screamed over and over again. "DADDY! DON'T LEAVE ME!" The last thing Bella heard before falling back into the black abyss was the gurgled sound of her father's pained screams and Victoria's sadistic cackle.

Present day (BPOV)

"I ended up burying my mom and step-dad three weeks later. It wasn't hard to tell it was Victoria; they were killed the same way Charlie was. Every single bone in their bodies were shattered and no blood."

I didn't know that I had started to cry until I was suddenly sitting on Jasper's lap with his strong cold arms wrapped around me, taking in is spicy scent. I breathed deep allowing the spicy allspice, cedarwood, oakmoss, and magnolia swirl around me. For the first time in over four years, I finally felt safe. I felt like I was home. "She's still out there; somewhere. That's why I'm living everyday like it's my last. I never know when it will actually be my last."

I felt the tears roll down my cheeks and soak through Jasper's t-shirt. "I'm sorry Darlin', we should have been there. This is my entire fault…" Jasper whispered.

"Please don't say that. My life worked out the way it was supposed to."

"But if I wasn't so weak, you're parents would still be alive. You'd be happy."

Oh this shit has to stop. Right the fuck now.

"You aren't weak. If you were weak, would I be here sitting on your lap? If you were weak, could I do this?" I leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek for being there and actually listening to me. And to prove a fucking point. Just as my lips went to make contact with his cheek, he turned his head and my lips met his. I pulled back in shock and gasped.

"Shit, Bella I'm sorry I-" I cut him off by bringing my lips back to his. Our lips moved in perfect synchronization.

In fiction, they often write about seeing fireworks when the leading couple would kiss. For as long as I could remember, I thought that this was complete and utter bullshit. Then again, I had never kissed Jasper before. As our lips moved and melded together, heat radiated through my body, sending small tingly sensations everywhere from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes and everywhere in between. This was so much more than just a fairytale kiss. This was real and it just felt so right.

I liked it more than I probably should have. But I couldn't help it.

"Bellsy! We're ho-oh damn! Kevin, I think we should come back…my roomie's a bit busy!" I heard Drew shout from the doorway. I reluctantly pulled away from Jasper and pulled my bottom lip into my mouth, resisting the urge to whisper the 'wow' I knew would come.

"What were you saying about being weak?"