The Art of Redemption
Chapter 5
JPOV
"I ended up burying my mom and step-dad three weeks later. It wasn't hard to tell it was Victoria; they were killed the same way Charlie was. Every single bone in their bodies were shattered and no blood."
Bella had started to cry, and that was just somethin' I didn't want to see her do. Someone so special shouldn't be so sad. I pulled her up into my lap and wrapped my arms around her as I started rocking back and forth, trying my best to comfort the delicate girl in my arms. "She's still out there; somewhere. That's why I'm living everyday like it's my last. I never know when it will actually be my last."
Over my pile of ashes! She is MINE!
Her tears were starting to soak through my shirt, but I didn't give a fuck. "I'm sorry Darlin'. We should have been there. This is my entire fault…" I whispered.
"Please don't say that. My life worked out the way it was supposed to."
"But if I wasn't so weak, you're parents would still be alive. You'd be happy."
Her emotions shifted from sorrow to determination in the blink of an eye. "You aren't weak. If you were weak, would I be here sitting on your lap? If you were weak, could I do this?"
She leaned over and, just as she was about to kiss my cheek, I turned my head so my lips would meet hers. I felt her surprise as she pulled back quickly and gasped.
SHIT! Way to go fucker… way to fuckin' go.
"Shit, Bella I'm sorry I-" but Bella had cut me off before I could finish by bringing her lips to mine once more. Her warm, soft lips moved against mine in perfect synchronization.
'MINE!' the beast within roared. He wanted Bella and I had to try my hardest to not give in to him. But it was proving difficult, especially when I felt her lust spike and could smell her arousal.
'Fuck her!' he roared again.
I was too caught up in Bella to hear someone open the door. "Bellsy! We're ho-oh damn! Kevin, I think we should come back… my roomie's a bit busy!" the person yelled.
"What were you saying about being weak?" Bella asked as she pulled away from our kiss. She just looked at me and smiled brightly; a smile that coulda warmed my cold dead heart. She leaned forward and once again captured my lips in a chaste kiss before pulling away and standing up from the couch. "It's safe!" she yelled, presumably to her roommate.
He poked his head in. "We didn't interrupt did we?"
"Just get in here, there's someone I want you to meet."
"Hold on woman! Don't get your panties in a knot!"
Bella smiled and I could feel her mirth and the love she had for whoever was at the door. It was a complete one-eighty from earlier when she was telling me about what had happened in the last four years. Then, when I had felt the onslaught of her emotions, it was everything from her hate and resentment to her despair. After hearing her story, I only felt worse. She was left completely unprotected (I'm not counting pups as protection) and it was all my fuckin' fault!
I told Edward leaving Bella was a bad idea, I would have much rather left the family than leave her unprotected. Victoria was a woman scorned and hell bent on revenge. Regardless, Edward was able to convince the family, despite my protest, that leaving was best.
I should have gone back. I should have protected her.
But I didn't. I didn't because Alice had begged and pleaded with me to stay… to not hurt her best friend. Apparently she had seen my killin' Bella if I had gone back.
"Jasper, I'd like you to meet my roommate and best friend, Drew Carter. Drew, this is Jasper Whitlock; Edward's… brother," she introduced us, saying the last part very hesitantly.
"So you brother is the asshole that broke my Belly Bean's heart. I swear to God, if I ever see him, he has one serious ass-kicking coming his way," he said with disdain. Had Edward been human, I didn't doubt for one minute that Drew could kick Edward's ass. Drew stood about six foot two and was more muscular than Edward with short blonde hair and steel gray eyes.
"Take a number D, I get him first," Bella growled. Fuckin' growled…and it was hot as fuck!
"Easy Baby B," he chuckled.
She smiled. "And this cute little red head here is Drew's boyfriend Kevin."
I extended my hand to the guys. Their flinches at the coldness of my skin did not go unnoticed.
"Hey B, we need to start getting ready for work," Drew said, looking directly at Bella almost pleadingly. I could feel the huge amount of brotherly love he had for her, it almost rivaled Emmett's. But I could also feel his protectiveness of her and the distrust he held for me.
"Oh um, okay. Sure. Jasper, Kevin, feel free to watch whatever you want on TV."
Bella and Drew both went into separate rooms, but it didn't take long for Drew to walk into Bella's with a change of clothes. I sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV to some sports channel. Kevin sat down in the recliner that was to the right of the couch. I could feel his apprehension about being so close to me. It was a completely natural reaction, people were apprehensive around my kind. Everyone except for Bella.
"So how long have you known Bella?" I asked Kevin, trying to make him feel more at ease.
"About a year; we met in a history class."
"Did she introduce you to Drew?"
"Yes."
He was still too apprehensive so I decided to let it go. I could feel the concern coming from Drew and Bella's growing frustration.
"So what's going on with you and Hot Cowboy?"
"Jasper. His name is Jasper."
"I like Hot Cowboy better; doesn't sound so old. But, you didn't answer the question."
"Nothing is going on."
"It sure as hell didn't look like it was nothing B."
"We're just friends. Can't you just trust me?"
"I do trust you. It's him I don't trust. Look, B, I just don't want to see you hurt."
"I know D. I love you."
"I love you too kid. Now, get your ass in them jeans so we can get going." I could hear the sound of his hand hitting flesh and I tried to stifle the growl.
"You just wanna see my ass in those jeans don't you?"
"Of course."
There was a long pause before Bella sighed.
"You would tell me if you fell in love, right?"
"Of course I would, B. You would tell me wouldn't you?"
"I don't fall in love, Drew. I fall in lust. That's it."
My heart broke for her. She had been broken so badly by Edward and Jake that she didn't even seem to believe in love anymore.
They didn't come out for another twenty minutes but man was the wait worth it. Bella was in a pair of tight, dark was jeans with a pair of black strappy heels. Her top was blood red and hugged her curves in all the right places.
"Oh! I forgot my contacts!" she exclaimed, whipping around and running back to her room. The shirt was draped low in the back and had a panel in the mid back to keep it closed. But what caught my eye the most was the tattoo on her right shoulder blade.
In elegant script was the phrase: La vendetta è un atto di passione; la vendetta di giustizia. Le ferite sono vendicó; i crimini sono vendicati*. Under the script was a heart with the names of her parents and, presumably, the date they were killed by Victoria.
BPOV
I knew that Drew loved me and was just looking out for me but I swear he was getting on my last nerve! He didn't know about both of my failed relationships and, to be honest, I didn't know if I ever wanted him to.
Did I want love? Yes, of course I did. What girl doesn't? But after having my heart ripped out not once but twice, I was terrified of love. Sure, one night stands with random strangers and nights with the trusty Rabbit were physically satisfying, but they were emotionally draining. Did I want to tell Drew that I had feelings for Jasper? Yes. But for some reason, and it could quite possibly be the fact that Jasper could hear me, I didn't.
From the moment I saw him outside of Vamped… I felt it. I felt that pull towards him. It felt as though there was a thick elastic band around the two of us and, as one person got further and further away, the tension became stronger; like it was trying to pull us back together.
But what did it mean?
Once I reached the bathroom that was off the master bedroom, I put in my crimson contacts and took in my final appearance. My eye makeup was smoky and gray and paired with some fuckhot red lips. I had straightened my hair and just a few wisps were turned out. I sighed. I couldn't wait for my hair to grow back. Drew had suggested that I cut it short so I did. Big mistake; there were only so many things I could do with it.
I miss my long hair.
After I put my contacts in and I was relatively satisfied with my look, I went back out to the living room. Drew and Kevin were already waiting by the front door and Jasper was still sitting on the couch. "I'm starting to think I should get a pair of those, everyone else is. I don't get it B, vampires don't even exist!"
"And how do you know that?" I countered. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jasper smirk.
"Well have you ever seen one?"
"Have you?" I said with a raised eyebrow.
"Well…no. But they don't exist!"
I looked at Jasper and shook my head, trying my damndest to not chuckle. I turned my attention back to Drew, "and how can you be so sure? What do you think Jasper?"
He smirked again. "Couldn't tell ya."
We walked down to the parking lot and Drew turned towards his car. "I'm taking my car tonight B, I'm going back to Kevin's after work," he said and smiled apologetically.
I shrugged my shoulders. "No problem. That just means I get to take mine, I don't get to take her out too often anymore," I said with a sigh. I missed driving my car. "Hey Drew?"
"Yeah B?"
"I'll race ya. Twenty to the winner?"
"You're on little girl." Drew and Kevin ran to Drew's red 2007 Ford Mustang.
I grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him towards the car. "Come on, I'm not losing!"
I ran, with Jasper easily keeping up with me, to the shiny black 2010 Chevy Camaro. That car was my whole reason for existence now. I had just recently bought it with some of the insurance money that I got after my parents' untimely murder and after my ancient Chevy truck finally bit the dust. To be honest, I was just surprised that the hunk of scrap metal made it all the way down here. I pulled the keys out of my purse and hit the unlock button earning a resounding beep from the car.
"This is your car?" Jasper asked incredulously.
"Yep, this is my car," I said, biting my lip. I opened the door and slid into the sleek interior, reveling in the feel of the supple black leather seat around my body. I slipped the key into the ignition and turned it, listening to my baby roar to life.
It was a beautiful sound.
I instinctively rolled down the windows before buckling my seatbelt. Jasper slid in and buckled up, as if he actually needed it, before I backed out of the parking space. I turned left on to the busy one-way street in front of my apartment building, noticing that Drew was already two car lengths in front of me.
It really didn't take long to get to the club since it was only a few blocks away…but it was the principle. I had to beat Drew. And I did, by about thirty seconds. As Drew pulled up beside my Camaro, which was parked in the employees' lot behind the club, I just smiled…and flipped him the bird. He happily returned the gesture. "You owe me twenty," I said, sticking my hand out with my palm facing up.
"I want a rematch," he stated defiantly.
Jasper just quietly chuckled. I looked at him, not knowing what was so funny. "He's embarrassed that you beat him," he whispered quietly in my ear. I shivered as his icy breath hit my skin.
I nodded my head slowly. "Name the time and place, D. Just know; I'll beat you every time. Come on now, let's go."
All four of us went inside, Jasper and I holding hands all the way into the club. Drew's glares toward Jasper's and my joined hands did not go unnoticed. I just looked at him through narrowed eyes and dared him to speak. He didn't say anything.
As we entered the club, the sound of You Shook Me All Night Long was blaring from the speakers.
"We finally get some decent music goin' in here. What? Is Molly not here to listen to that pop shit?" I asked as I walked into the club. The only people that were in here, aside from my boys and me, were Alex the club's DJ, and Tony the bouncer. I was assuming Ray was in his office.
"Haven't seen her yet," Alex yelled from behind a speaker.
I told Jasper and Kevin that they could have a seat at the bar while Drew and I set up for the night. I was expecting a pretty big crowd and poured me a shot of Jack to help 'prepare' for the night ahead. Jasper looked at me expectantly, waiting for an explanation. "What? I'm the one who has to dance around a damn pole. My friend Jack here will help me with the nerves. I could always invite José."
"Ya know, I was gonna ask ya 'bout that," he drawled out, "but I never got the opportunity."
"Oh, um… I took some classes. It's a great work out."
The front door slammed shut as our boss Ray walked in with Molly hot on his tail. "What did I tell you about boyfriends at work Swan?" he barked. Great, Ray was gonna be an asshole tonight.
"He's not my boyfriend Ray. He's just a friend."
"Either way, I don't want him hanging around my bar unless he's paying the tab. You're supposed to appear single. I don't really give a shit if you are or aren't. When you're here, you are."
I could tell that Jasper was getting angry about Ray's treatment towards me since his fists kept clenching and unclenching. That and his eyes were a darker burgundy, almost black. I placed my hand on his forearm and it seemed like he instantly calmed down. When he looked at me, I smiled at him reassuringly and pleaded with my eyes for him to come back to me, praying to God that it would work. Thankfully, it did.
"Oh, and Bella? You're on the floor again," he said before walking to the steps that led to his office. Molly was still hot on his tail and everything finally came into prospective; following him everywhere… staying late after work… coming in with him… getting my shifts…
That little whore!
Anger coursed through my veins and it was my turn to start clenching and unclenching my fist. "I don't think so," I ground out through clenched teeth. "You hired me as a bartender, not a waitress."
"You know the rules, Swan. Molly wants to tend bar again."
"You know what Ray? If Molly wants my job so fucking bad, she can fucking have it. I quit!" I screamed at my boss. The club suddenly grew eerily quiet. Vamped was a great place to work, truly it was. But the last few weeks, ever since Molly came along, things had been slowly going downhill. He gave her my job once already; it wouldn't happen again. I didn't need the money… I only worked here to pass the time.
Ray's mouth was opening and closing in rapid succession, much like a fish. He finally spoke up. "You can't quit. You're under contract for another six months!" he roared.
"What are you gonna do Ray? Sue me? I'm sure the Better Business Bureau, and your wife, would just love to find out that you're fucking Molly on the side." There was a series of collective gasps around the club. "That's right Ray, I know your dirty little secret. Let's see how little Molly can do on a crowded Saturday. Come on Jasper, let's go."
"What's the matter Bella, afraid of a little competition? Afraid I'll take your man too…Lord knows you can't keep one," Molly sneered from her spot on the steps.
At that point, I saw red. And I'm not just talking the color of anger. Oh no… I was talking about a dark crimson… the color of blood… the color of her blood. The only thing that kept me from lunging at her was the fact that Jasper had a secure hold around my waist. "Jasper, get me out of here before she starts spilling blood. Please," I begged quietly.
"Come on Darlin'," Jasper said as he gently tugged me toward the door.
"Oh look everyone, she's running away," Molly sneered again. My body stiffened in response to my anger. I really, really wanted to hurt her. I tried to wriggle out of Jasper's firm grasp to no avail, he had locked on and wasn't letting go. I felt the calm wash over me as I was dragged out of the club by Jasper.
Once outside, I took a deep breath to try to clear my head.
"You okay now, Darlin'?" Jasper asked as he tentatively let go of my waist. The second I took a step toward the club, his arms were around me once again. "I don't think so Darlin'."
I took another deep breath, relishing the calm that Jasper was sending my way. I grabbed for my keys and hit the unlock button. "I'm okay now."
"You sure 'bout that?"
Not trusting my voice, I just nodded my head slowly.
Jasper let go of me and we both turned towards my Camaro. Before reaching the car, I heard Drew shout, "Bella! Wait!" I sighed and turned around to see him and Kevin running towards us. "I'll follow you to the gym."
"No, Drew. Go back to work. I can handle this myself."
"There's no work to go back to Sweetie. I just quit. If my best friend ain't gonna work there, I'm sure as hell not gonna work there."
"But Drew, you-"
He cut me off before I could finish. "Don't say it, B. I was getting ready to turn in my two week notice anyway," he said as he wrapped his right arm around me.
"Thanks, D."
"Now let's go visit a punching bag about some anger management, shall we?"
Jasper and I took the Camaro to the gym while Drew and Kevin followed in the Stang. With me driving, it didn't take long to get to the gym. What would normally be a twenty-two minute drive turned into a twelve minute drive. Speed limit be damned.
"Bella, Darlin', do ya think this is a good idea?" Jasper asked as I pulled into the parking space in front of the gym.
I turned to look at him. "Would you rather I turn around and go back to the club? Right now, I don't even know if you could stop me. Trust me, I need this," I explained while exiting the car. Jasper followed me into the gym and waited in front of the girls' locker room while I changed into my work out clothes.
By the time I got out of the locker room, Drew was already dressed and ready to go. I took my place beside Jasper and laced my hand with his, instantly feeling calmer, to which I'm sure he was relieved. We walked hand in hand to the room off to the side of all of the equipment.
"You know, for the first time since joining this gym, I'm really thankful its open twenty four-seven."
"That's what I told the she-devil after I quit," Drew said, picking up the body shield and getting into position. I gave Jasper a quick kiss on the lips before slipping on my pink grappling gloves. Jasper chuckled.
"Don't laugh at my gloves."
"It's not your gloves I'm laughin' at darlin'. I just can't believe yer gonna do this, yer 'bout as scary as a paper bag."
I'll show you.
I snorted and turned on my heel before walking over to Drew who was already poised and ready to block whatever I threw at him.
For fifteen minutes straight, I kicked, I punched, and I just got angrier. I couldn't hear anyone around me… all I could concentrate on was the red haze that I knew was clouding my judgment. I just wanted to scream. Scream at the world… scream at myself… and most of all… I wanted to scream at Edward for ruining my life.
But it was no use.
So I did the only thing I could do. I fell to my knees and cried. I cried for Renee and Phil. I cried for Charlie. I cried for lost love. And most of all, I cried for me. The anger… despair… sorrow… it was all too much. It all came at me so fast that I couldn't handle it and I finally broke down. I finally just broke.
I heard the thump of Drew's body as he slumped down in front of me and felt his warm arms around me. I could also hear Jasper and Kevin rush over. But nothing registered.
Even with my friends around me, I was alone.
"Why don't you guys go? I'll make sure Miss Bella here gets home safe."
"No way in hell. I'm not leaving my best friend here in this state!"
"I give you my word as a gentleman; I will keep her safe Drew. I can feel how much you care for her. But right now, I'm the only one that can help her."
Drew sighed. "Just take care of her and keep her away from the Patron...and the Phish Food. You come back to Baby B, you hear me? Please don't shut us out baby."
I remember nodding my head, without even really knowing why, before I heard the shuffle of feet and a click of a door as it closed.
"On your feet Isabella."
I just shook my head. I wanted this pain to be over and I knew Jasper could help me. But he wasn't taking the pain away.
Why wasn't he taking it away?
"I said on your feet, Isabella. I will not repeat myself," he said again more forcefully; his sexy southern drawl nowhere to be heard.
There was just something about the tone of his voice that made me want to obey... like I had no choice other than to do what he said. So, under no conscious control of my own, I felt my feet move from under me as I stood up. "Please…" I whispered, hoping he would know what I meant.
"You're working through this on your own Isabella," he said. His voice was stern; it was as if he was trying to control me. And I knew I had no choice but to let him.
"I can't," I said weakly.
In a flash, he was in front of me. When I tried to take a step back, he grabbed both of my arms and held me in place. "You will listen to me, Isabella. That is a direct order and I don't take too kindly to people disobeying my orders. Do I make myself clear?"
I couldn't look at him; I was too afraid to. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing the disappointment in his crimson eyes. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good girl."
Jasper calmly walked over and picked up the body shield, which I'm sure was more for my benefit rather than his. "I want your best Isabella. You will not hold back on me. Is this understood?"
"Yes Sir."
He smirked and something stirred within me. "Good."
In one swift motion, I lifted my front leg, bent it at the knee, and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick which he easily blocked with the shield. I did it again and then jabbed with my right hand.
"Quit using yer anger against ya," he instructed. His voice was softer this time and the twang was back; I stopped and looked at him quizzically. "You're fighting fire with fire, Bella. If you're gonna fight with anger, channel it. Control the anger, don't let it control you."
Huh?
Jasper put the shield down and came over to me. "Let yer anger be yer power. Center it and use it to your advantage."
"I don't understand."
"Put all of that anger into the deliverin' blow. If you're gonna jab, let all your anger flow to yer fists."
Oh…
"How?"
"Focus, Bella." He picked up the shield again. "Come on, Little Girl, show me what ya got."
I stared at the shield that Jasper was holding and tried to focus.
Go to the hand. I tried to mentally will my anger.
It didn't work.
Please go to the hand.
Nothing.
Go to the fucking hand!
Zip, nada, zilch.
"Try to envision this shield as Edward, Bella."
I stared at the shield.
…
Nothing.
This was hopeless. I was getting frustrated and in turn, angrier.
"You're not good for me, Bella."
My head shot up at the sound of his voice and I spun around; but was met with nothing.
"I don't love you."
I spun around and my heart stopped. There he was disheveled bronze hair and all. I could feel the sudden rush of power flow to my hand and lashed out.
"… we're very easily distracted."
I kept lashing out as the sound of his voice…the memories fueled my fury.
"It will be as if I never existed."
"Why wasn't I good enough for you?" I screamed, delivering a powerful front kick to the shield.
"I loved you with everything I had!" I screamed again, throwing three jabs and a body shot in rapid succession.
I took a deep breath and finally said the words that needed to be said. "I fucking hate you, you prissy-assed douchebag!**" I felt all of my anger rush to my leg as I swung for a roundhouse kick. The kick was so powerful that Jasper was knocked off balance.
I stopped. Everything was gone. The anger… the guilt… the despair… everything.
For the first time in four years, I felt free.
And I was safe… in Jasper's arms.
Chapter 5
JPOV
"I ended up burying my mom and step-dad three weeks later. It wasn't hard to tell it was Victoria; they were killed the same way Charlie was. Every single bone in their bodies were shattered and no blood."
Bella had started to cry, and that was just somethin' I didn't want to see her do. Someone so special shouldn't be so sad. I pulled her up into my lap and wrapped my arms around her as I started rocking back and forth, trying my best to comfort the delicate girl in my arms. "She's still out there; somewhere. That's why I'm living everyday like it's my last. I never know when it will actually be my last."
Over my pile of ashes! She is MINE!
Her tears were starting to soak through my shirt, but I didn't give a fuck. "I'm sorry Darlin'. We should have been there. This is my entire fault…" I whispered.
"Please don't say that. My life worked out the way it was supposed to."
"But if I wasn't so weak, you're parents would still be alive. You'd be happy."
Her emotions shifted from sorrow to determination in the blink of an eye. "You aren't weak. If you were weak, would I be here sitting on your lap? If you were weak, could I do this?"
She leaned over and, just as she was about to kiss my cheek, I turned my head so my lips would meet hers. I felt her surprise as she pulled back quickly and gasped.
SHIT! Way to go fucker… way to fuckin' go.
"Shit, Bella I'm sorry I-" but Bella had cut me off before I could finish by bringing her lips to mine once more. Her warm, soft lips moved against mine in perfect synchronization.
'MINE!' the beast within roared. He wanted Bella and I had to try my hardest to not give in to him. But it was proving difficult, especially when I felt her lust spike and could smell her arousal.
'Fuck her!' he roared again.
I was too caught up in Bella to hear someone open the door. "Bellsy! We're ho-oh damn! Kevin, I think we should come back… my roomie's a bit busy!" the person yelled.
"What were you saying about being weak?" Bella asked as she pulled away from our kiss. She just looked at me and smiled brightly; a smile that coulda warmed my cold dead heart. She leaned forward and once again captured my lips in a chaste kiss before pulling away and standing up from the couch. "It's safe!" she yelled, presumably to her roommate.
He poked his head in. "We didn't interrupt did we?"
"Just get in here, there's someone I want you to meet."
"Hold on woman! Don't get your panties in a knot!"
Bella smiled and I could feel her mirth and the love she had for whoever was at the door. It was a complete one-eighty from earlier when she was telling me about what had happened in the last four years. Then, when I had felt the onslaught of her emotions, it was everything from her hate and resentment to her despair. After hearing her story, I only felt worse. She was left completely unprotected (I'm not counting pups as protection) and it was all my fuckin' fault!
I told Edward leaving Bella was a bad idea, I would have much rather left the family than leave her unprotected. Victoria was a woman scorned and hell bent on revenge. Regardless, Edward was able to convince the family, despite my protest, that leaving was best.
I should have gone back. I should have protected her.
But I didn't. I didn't because Alice had begged and pleaded with me to stay… to not hurt her best friend. Apparently she had seen my killin' Bella if I had gone back.
"Jasper, I'd like you to meet my roommate and best friend, Drew Carter. Drew, this is Jasper Whitlock; Edward's… brother," she introduced us, saying the last part very hesitantly.
"So you brother is the asshole that broke my Belly Bean's heart. I swear to God, if I ever see him, he has one serious ass-kicking coming his way," he said with disdain. Had Edward been human, I didn't doubt for one minute that Drew could kick Edward's ass. Drew stood about six foot two and was more muscular than Edward with short blonde hair and steel gray eyes.
"Take a number D, I get him first," Bella growled. Fuckin' growled…and it was hot as fuck!
"Easy Baby B," he chuckled.
She smiled. "And this cute little red head here is Drew's boyfriend Kevin."
I extended my hand to the guys. Their flinches at the coldness of my skin did not go unnoticed.
"Hey B, we need to start getting ready for work," Drew said, looking directly at Bella almost pleadingly. I could feel the huge amount of brotherly love he had for her, it almost rivaled Emmett's. But I could also feel his protectiveness of her and the distrust he held for me.
"Oh um, okay. Sure. Jasper, Kevin, feel free to watch whatever you want on TV."
Bella and Drew both went into separate rooms, but it didn't take long for Drew to walk into Bella's with a change of clothes. I sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV to some sports channel. Kevin sat down in the recliner that was to the right of the couch. I could feel his apprehension about being so close to me. It was a completely natural reaction, people were apprehensive around my kind. Everyone except for Bella.
"So how long have you known Bella?" I asked Kevin, trying to make him feel more at ease.
"About a year; we met in a history class."
"Did she introduce you to Drew?"
"Yes."
He was still too apprehensive so I decided to let it go. I could feel the concern coming from Drew and Bella's growing frustration.
"So what's going on with you and Hot Cowboy?"
"Jasper. His name is Jasper."
"I like Hot Cowboy better; doesn't sound so old. But, you didn't answer the question."
"Nothing is going on."
"It sure as hell didn't look like it was nothing B."
"We're just friends. Can't you just trust me?"
"I do trust you. It's him I don't trust. Look, B, I just don't want to see you hurt."
"I know D. I love you."
"I love you too kid. Now, get your ass in them jeans so we can get going." I could hear the sound of his hand hitting flesh and I tried to stifle the growl.
"You just wanna see my ass in those jeans don't you?"
"Of course."
There was a long pause before Bella sighed.
"You would tell me if you fell in love, right?"
"Of course I would, B. You would tell me wouldn't you?"
"I don't fall in love, Drew. I fall in lust. That's it."
My heart broke for her. She had been broken so badly by Edward and Jake that she didn't even seem to believe in love anymore.
They didn't come out for another twenty minutes but man was the wait worth it. Bella was in a pair of tight, dark was jeans with a pair of black strappy heels. Her top was blood red and hugged her curves in all the right places.
"Oh! I forgot my contacts!" she exclaimed, whipping around and running back to her room. The shirt was draped low in the back and had a panel in the mid back to keep it closed. But what caught my eye the most was the tattoo on her right shoulder blade.
In elegant script was the phrase: La vendetta è un atto di passione; la vendetta di giustizia. Le ferite sono vendicó; i crimini sono vendicati*. Under the script was a heart with the names of her parents and, presumably, the date they were killed by Victoria.
BPOV
I knew that Drew loved me and was just looking out for me but I swear he was getting on my last nerve! He didn't know about both of my failed relationships and, to be honest, I didn't know if I ever wanted him to.
Did I want love? Yes, of course I did. What girl doesn't? But after having my heart ripped out not once but twice, I was terrified of love. Sure, one night stands with random strangers and nights with the trusty Rabbit were physically satisfying, but they were emotionally draining. Did I want to tell Drew that I had feelings for Jasper? Yes. But for some reason, and it could quite possibly be the fact that Jasper could hear me, I didn't.
From the moment I saw him outside of Vamped… I felt it. I felt that pull towards him. It felt as though there was a thick elastic band around the two of us and, as one person got further and further away, the tension became stronger; like it was trying to pull us back together.
But what did it mean?
Once I reached the bathroom that was off the master bedroom, I put in my crimson contacts and took in my final appearance. My eye makeup was smoky and gray and paired with some fuckhot red lips. I had straightened my hair and just a few wisps were turned out. I sighed. I couldn't wait for my hair to grow back. Drew had suggested that I cut it short so I did. Big mistake; there were only so many things I could do with it.
I miss my long hair.
After I put my contacts in and I was relatively satisfied with my look, I went back out to the living room. Drew and Kevin were already waiting by the front door and Jasper was still sitting on the couch. "I'm starting to think I should get a pair of those, everyone else is. I don't get it B, vampires don't even exist!"
"And how do you know that?" I countered. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jasper smirk.
"Well have you ever seen one?"
"Have you?" I said with a raised eyebrow.
"Well…no. But they don't exist!"
I looked at Jasper and shook my head, trying my damndest to not chuckle. I turned my attention back to Drew, "and how can you be so sure? What do you think Jasper?"
He smirked again. "Couldn't tell ya."
We walked down to the parking lot and Drew turned towards his car. "I'm taking my car tonight B, I'm going back to Kevin's after work," he said and smiled apologetically.
I shrugged my shoulders. "No problem. That just means I get to take mine, I don't get to take her out too often anymore," I said with a sigh. I missed driving my car. "Hey Drew?"
"Yeah B?"
"I'll race ya. Twenty to the winner?"
"You're on little girl." Drew and Kevin ran to Drew's red 2007 Ford Mustang.
I grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him towards the car. "Come on, I'm not losing!"
I ran, with Jasper easily keeping up with me, to the shiny black 2010 Chevy Camaro. That car was my whole reason for existence now. I had just recently bought it with some of the insurance money that I got after my parents' untimely murder and after my ancient Chevy truck finally bit the dust. To be honest, I was just surprised that the hunk of scrap metal made it all the way down here. I pulled the keys out of my purse and hit the unlock button earning a resounding beep from the car.
"This is your car?" Jasper asked incredulously.
"Yep, this is my car," I said, biting my lip. I opened the door and slid into the sleek interior, reveling in the feel of the supple black leather seat around my body. I slipped the key into the ignition and turned it, listening to my baby roar to life.
It was a beautiful sound.
I instinctively rolled down the windows before buckling my seatbelt. Jasper slid in and buckled up, as if he actually needed it, before I backed out of the parking space. I turned left on to the busy one-way street in front of my apartment building, noticing that Drew was already two car lengths in front of me.
It really didn't take long to get to the club since it was only a few blocks away…but it was the principle. I had to beat Drew. And I did, by about thirty seconds. As Drew pulled up beside my Camaro, which was parked in the employees' lot behind the club, I just smiled…and flipped him the bird. He happily returned the gesture. "You owe me twenty," I said, sticking my hand out with my palm facing up.
"I want a rematch," he stated defiantly.
Jasper just quietly chuckled. I looked at him, not knowing what was so funny. "He's embarrassed that you beat him," he whispered quietly in my ear. I shivered as his icy breath hit my skin.
I nodded my head slowly. "Name the time and place, D. Just know; I'll beat you every time. Come on now, let's go."
All four of us went inside, Jasper and I holding hands all the way into the club. Drew's glares toward Jasper's and my joined hands did not go unnoticed. I just looked at him through narrowed eyes and dared him to speak. He didn't say anything.
As we entered the club, the sound of You Shook Me All Night Long was blaring from the speakers.
"We finally get some decent music goin' in here. What? Is Molly not here to listen to that pop shit?" I asked as I walked into the club. The only people that were in here, aside from my boys and me, were Alex the club's DJ, and Tony the bouncer. I was assuming Ray was in his office.
"Haven't seen her yet," Alex yelled from behind a speaker.
I told Jasper and Kevin that they could have a seat at the bar while Drew and I set up for the night. I was expecting a pretty big crowd and poured me a shot of Jack to help 'prepare' for the night ahead. Jasper looked at me expectantly, waiting for an explanation. "What? I'm the one who has to dance around a damn pole. My friend Jack here will help me with the nerves. I could always invite José."
"Ya know, I was gonna ask ya 'bout that," he drawled out, "but I never got the opportunity."
"Oh, um… I took some classes. It's a great work out."
The front door slammed shut as our boss Ray walked in with Molly hot on his tail. "What did I tell you about boyfriends at work Swan?" he barked. Great, Ray was gonna be an asshole tonight.
"He's not my boyfriend Ray. He's just a friend."
"Either way, I don't want him hanging around my bar unless he's paying the tab. You're supposed to appear single. I don't really give a shit if you are or aren't. When you're here, you are."
I could tell that Jasper was getting angry about Ray's treatment towards me since his fists kept clenching and unclenching. That and his eyes were a darker burgundy, almost black. I placed my hand on his forearm and it seemed like he instantly calmed down. When he looked at me, I smiled at him reassuringly and pleaded with my eyes for him to come back to me, praying to God that it would work. Thankfully, it did.
"Oh, and Bella? You're on the floor again," he said before walking to the steps that led to his office. Molly was still hot on his tail and everything finally came into prospective; following him everywhere… staying late after work… coming in with him… getting my shifts…
That little whore!
Anger coursed through my veins and it was my turn to start clenching and unclenching my fist. "I don't think so," I ground out through clenched teeth. "You hired me as a bartender, not a waitress."
"You know the rules, Swan. Molly wants to tend bar again."
"You know what Ray? If Molly wants my job so fucking bad, she can fucking have it. I quit!" I screamed at my boss. The club suddenly grew eerily quiet. Vamped was a great place to work, truly it was. But the last few weeks, ever since Molly came along, things had been slowly going downhill. He gave her my job once already; it wouldn't happen again. I didn't need the money… I only worked here to pass the time.
Ray's mouth was opening and closing in rapid succession, much like a fish. He finally spoke up. "You can't quit. You're under contract for another six months!" he roared.
"What are you gonna do Ray? Sue me? I'm sure the Better Business Bureau, and your wife, would just love to find out that you're fucking Molly on the side." There was a series of collective gasps around the club. "That's right Ray, I know your dirty little secret. Let's see how little Molly can do on a crowded Saturday. Come on Jasper, let's go."
"What's the matter Bella, afraid of a little competition? Afraid I'll take your man too…Lord knows you can't keep one," Molly sneered from her spot on the steps.
At that point, I saw red. And I'm not just talking the color of anger. Oh no… I was talking about a dark crimson… the color of blood… the color of her blood. The only thing that kept me from lunging at her was the fact that Jasper had a secure hold around my waist. "Jasper, get me out of here before she starts spilling blood. Please," I begged quietly.
"Come on Darlin'," Jasper said as he gently tugged me toward the door.
"Oh look everyone, she's running away," Molly sneered again. My body stiffened in response to my anger. I really, really wanted to hurt her. I tried to wriggle out of Jasper's firm grasp to no avail, he had locked on and wasn't letting go. I felt the calm wash over me as I was dragged out of the club by Jasper.
Once outside, I took a deep breath to try to clear my head.
"You okay now, Darlin'?" Jasper asked as he tentatively let go of my waist. The second I took a step toward the club, his arms were around me once again. "I don't think so Darlin'."
I took another deep breath, relishing the calm that Jasper was sending my way. I grabbed for my keys and hit the unlock button. "I'm okay now."
"You sure 'bout that?"
Not trusting my voice, I just nodded my head slowly.
Jasper let go of me and we both turned towards my Camaro. Before reaching the car, I heard Drew shout, "Bella! Wait!" I sighed and turned around to see him and Kevin running towards us. "I'll follow you to the gym."
"No, Drew. Go back to work. I can handle this myself."
"There's no work to go back to Sweetie. I just quit. If my best friend ain't gonna work there, I'm sure as hell not gonna work there."
"But Drew, you-"
He cut me off before I could finish. "Don't say it, B. I was getting ready to turn in my two week notice anyway," he said as he wrapped his right arm around me.
"Thanks, D."
"Now let's go visit a punching bag about some anger management, shall we?"
Jasper and I took the Camaro to the gym while Drew and Kevin followed in the Stang. With me driving, it didn't take long to get to the gym. What would normally be a twenty-two minute drive turned into a twelve minute drive. Speed limit be damned.
"Bella, Darlin', do ya think this is a good idea?" Jasper asked as I pulled into the parking space in front of the gym.
I turned to look at him. "Would you rather I turn around and go back to the club? Right now, I don't even know if you could stop me. Trust me, I need this," I explained while exiting the car. Jasper followed me into the gym and waited in front of the girls' locker room while I changed into my work out clothes.
By the time I got out of the locker room, Drew was already dressed and ready to go. I took my place beside Jasper and laced my hand with his, instantly feeling calmer, to which I'm sure he was relieved. We walked hand in hand to the room off to the side of all of the equipment.
"You know, for the first time since joining this gym, I'm really thankful its open twenty four-seven."
"That's what I told the she-devil after I quit," Drew said, picking up the body shield and getting into position. I gave Jasper a quick kiss on the lips before slipping on my pink grappling gloves. Jasper chuckled.
"Don't laugh at my gloves."
"It's not your gloves I'm laughin' at darlin'. I just can't believe yer gonna do this, yer 'bout as scary as a paper bag."
I'll show you.
I snorted and turned on my heel before walking over to Drew who was already poised and ready to block whatever I threw at him.
For fifteen minutes straight, I kicked, I punched, and I just got angrier. I couldn't hear anyone around me… all I could concentrate on was the red haze that I knew was clouding my judgment. I just wanted to scream. Scream at the world… scream at myself… and most of all… I wanted to scream at Edward for ruining my life.
But it was no use.
So I did the only thing I could do. I fell to my knees and cried. I cried for Renee and Phil. I cried for Charlie. I cried for lost love. And most of all, I cried for me. The anger… despair… sorrow… it was all too much. It all came at me so fast that I couldn't handle it and I finally broke down. I finally just broke.
I heard the thump of Drew's body as he slumped down in front of me and felt his warm arms around me. I could also hear Jasper and Kevin rush over. But nothing registered.
Even with my friends around me, I was alone.
"Why don't you guys go? I'll make sure Miss Bella here gets home safe."
"No way in hell. I'm not leaving my best friend here in this state!"
"I give you my word as a gentleman; I will keep her safe Drew. I can feel how much you care for her. But right now, I'm the only one that can help her."
Drew sighed. "Just take care of her and keep her away from the Patron...and the Phish Food. You come back to Baby B, you hear me? Please don't shut us out baby."
I remember nodding my head, without even really knowing why, before I heard the shuffle of feet and a click of a door as it closed.
"On your feet Isabella."
I just shook my head. I wanted this pain to be over and I knew Jasper could help me. But he wasn't taking the pain away.
Why wasn't he taking it away?
"I said on your feet, Isabella. I will not repeat myself," he said again more forcefully; his sexy southern drawl nowhere to be heard.
There was just something about the tone of his voice that made me want to obey... like I had no choice other than to do what he said. So, under no conscious control of my own, I felt my feet move from under me as I stood up. "Please…" I whispered, hoping he would know what I meant.
"You're working through this on your own Isabella," he said. His voice was stern; it was as if he was trying to control me. And I knew I had no choice but to let him.
"I can't," I said weakly.
In a flash, he was in front of me. When I tried to take a step back, he grabbed both of my arms and held me in place. "You will listen to me, Isabella. That is a direct order and I don't take too kindly to people disobeying my orders. Do I make myself clear?"
I couldn't look at him; I was too afraid to. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing the disappointment in his crimson eyes. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good girl."
Jasper calmly walked over and picked up the body shield, which I'm sure was more for my benefit rather than his. "I want your best Isabella. You will not hold back on me. Is this understood?"
"Yes Sir."
He smirked and something stirred within me. "Good."
In one swift motion, I lifted my front leg, bent it at the knee, and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick which he easily blocked with the shield. I did it again and then jabbed with my right hand.
"Quit using yer anger against ya," he instructed. His voice was softer this time and the twang was back; I stopped and looked at him quizzically. "You're fighting fire with fire, Bella. If you're gonna fight with anger, channel it. Control the anger, don't let it control you."
Huh?
Jasper put the shield down and came over to me. "Let yer anger be yer power. Center it and use it to your advantage."
"I don't understand."
"Put all of that anger into the deliverin' blow. If you're gonna jab, let all your anger flow to yer fists."
Oh…
"How?"
"Focus, Bella." He picked up the shield again. "Come on, Little Girl, show me what ya got."
I stared at the shield that Jasper was holding and tried to focus.
Go to the hand. I tried to mentally will my anger.
It didn't work.
Please go to the hand.
Nothing.
Go to the fucking hand!
Zip, nada, zilch.
"Try to envision this shield as Edward, Bella."
I stared at the shield.
…
Nothing.
This was hopeless. I was getting frustrated and in turn, angrier.
"You're not good for me, Bella."
My head shot up at the sound of his voice and I spun around; but was met with nothing.
"I don't love you."
I spun around and my heart stopped. There he was disheveled bronze hair and all. I could feel the sudden rush of power flow to my hand and lashed out.
"… we're very easily distracted."
I kept lashing out as the sound of his voice…the memories fueled my fury.
"It will be as if I never existed."
"Why wasn't I good enough for you?" I screamed, delivering a powerful front kick to the shield.
"I loved you with everything I had!" I screamed again, throwing three jabs and a body shot in rapid succession.
I took a deep breath and finally said the words that needed to be said. "I fucking hate you, you prissy-assed douchebag!**" I felt all of my anger rush to my leg as I swung for a roundhouse kick. The kick was so powerful that Jasper was knocked off balance.
I stopped. Everything was gone. The anger… the guilt… the despair… everything.
For the first time in four years, I felt free.
And I was safe… in Jasper's arms.
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