Because we all need laughter in our life...

Especially now during the stressful holidays. So, I bring you these hoping they will bring a smile and a house full of laughs.



^ I saw that and I could not stop laughing my ass off! Especially after just reading Jazzella's Behind Enemy Lines. Seriously, I almost fell off the couch!











Happy Holidays everyone!

Amber

Happy Birthday Jackson!

Thats right peeps... today is Jackson Rathbone's birthday and is so deserves to be announced on this blog because lets face it... we love him.

To my readers: I haven't given up on TAoR... I got a mad case of writers block and just could now beat that bitch no matter how many pictures of Jackson I looked at. And then, when she finally vacated... I got stuck with a major school project which is finally done. And if that wasn't enough... my main computer got a big bad bug. Luckily, most of my stuff is on my net book. UGH.

In summary... TAoR chapter 8 (I think) is coming!

Amber

With the new year comes new adventures...

Are you ready for them?

2011 will be full of new adventures for this cowgirl. First and foremost, this is my stallions first breeding season; I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a successful 2011 breeding season. Second, my mare is due in March with my stallion's first baby. Now, this is the mare that has yet to let me be there for a birth. Or I should say I have missed both births thus far because 'people' did not believe me when I said she was having that baby. Examples:

• Her first foal, 'they' decided to go out to breakfast instead of listening to me that the baby is coming, Kayde is in first stage labor. Well, two beat one so I angrily hopped in the car and bitched the whole way to Denny's. After breakfast, they decided to stop at some garage sales. Well, when we got back, there was the baby staring back at us. We missed the birth by no more than ten minutes. Insert 'I told you so' here.
• Her second foal, Mia, was a bitch waiting for. We literally camped out in a small travel trailer at the barn for a week. A week of crazy ass, cold weather. The last day we were there, I noticed she started dripping milk and waxing up; a sign that the foal would be in the world in roughly twelve to twenty-four hours. Well, we went home and got to sleep in a real bed in a heated house. When we got to the barn the next day, I was scared shitless when I opened the barn door and a baby staring at me.

I hate missing births. Not just because I want to see them come into the world but because so many things can go wrong. Everything from dystocia to red bag deliveries where you pretty much have to rip the foal out of the mare since it is suffocating. So far, out of about twenty births, we've been lucky and never had a really big problem. Don't get me wrong, we've had our share of problems but we've never had a red bag delivery... yet. Needless to say, I refuse to miss this birth.

Last big adventure is stepping out into the business world. Now, if any of you know me then you would know that I'm a business major. That doesn't necessarily set you up for your own business though so it's a scary to start a business... especially in this tough economy. But, I have faith. I've got the name and I'm starting on the product but need a little help from my readers. Now, I'm not asking a lot. In fact, I'm just asking a question: what is your favorite home fragrance? From that question alone, I'm sure you can guess what my product is. That's right, I'm making candles, tarts, and other home fragrance goodies. Eventually, I will branch out and also include lotions, soaps and other elements.

I'm just starting out online with a few tart fragrances. Hey, don't judge me; I'm doing this all out of pocket and on a college kid's budget. It'll be tough, but I'm up for the challenge. What about you readers; what new adventures await you in 2011?

Tuesdays Teaser: Chapter 8

Sorry for the lack of teaser last week! RL has been quite the big bitch lately... but here is the teaser for chapter 8. I hope y'all enjoy... the chapter should be finished and posted in a few days.

***

“Oh Belly Bean, don’t be ashamed of what you two did last night… and this morning. Ain’t nothing to be ashamed about with the way he was making you scream girl. Woo child!” he exclaimed, pretending to fan himself. I was almost positive that I was a lovely shade of beet root as I snuggled into Jasper’s side, trying in any way to hide myself from this torture. Jasper chuckled.

“You better not be laughing at me!”

“I wouldn’t do such a thing Darlin’. My momma raised me better.”

“I don’t believe you,” I said, smiling slightly.

There was a knock at the door and I could only assume it was Charlotte. I yelled for her to come in and when the door opened, I was surprised to see Peter following his wife. “Petey!” I exclaimed, running over to him and leaping into his waiting arms. He swung me around and I giggled like a giddy school girl.

“Hey Kitten!” Peter chuckled, setting me back down on my feet.

“Drew, I’d like you to meet Char’s other half, Peter. Peter, this is my roommate, Drew.”

For the first time since I’d met him, Drew was absolutely speechless as he looked at Peter. “Drew?”

Nothing.

“Earth to Drew.”

Still nothing.

“Oh my god! It’s Brad Pitt!” I yelled excitedly, pointing at the window. But he still wasn’t moving. His coffee cup was still halfway to his lips, frozen in place.

“Is he okay?” Charlotte asked and even I could feel her concern for her new friend.

“I think he has a crush on Peter,” Jasper said, amused. I walked over to Drew and waved my hand right in front of his face. There was no response.
“What the hell did you do to my roommate Peter?” I shrieked, knowing full well that Peter didn’t do anything.

“I didn’t do it Kitten, I swear!”

The only thing I could think of doing was our ‘in case of emergency’ move. We had agreed on said move when he first moved in and said in case anything happened and one of us was either a) hysterical or b) completely out of it, we should use ‘the move’. Neither of us had needed it in the past and I figured that this was about as much of an emergency as ever. I sighed before reeling my hand back and slapping him across the face.

“Oh!” Peter guffawed as Drew’s head whipped to the side. The coffee was sloshing out of the cup and my hand stung like a son-of-a-bitch. Charlotte and Jasper were trying to stifle their laughter. Peter on the other hand was laughing like it was going out of style.

“Did you just bitch slap me?” Drew said quietly, rubbing the now red cheek that I slapped.

“It was an emergency. You were practically catatonic,” I explained.

He looked over at Peter again and started blushing furiously. “Oh be still my beating heart!” he exclaimed, clutching his heart dramatically.

Mondays Musings

So yeah, this last week completely sucked. On Wednesday, my drain pipes decided to freeze or something like that. Then, I haven’t really been able to find any new, well-written Jasper/Bella fics… which actually ties into my musings for this week. So let’s get started.

• To all the writers out there in the fandom, this one is to you. If you say you accept constructive criticism, expect the worst. Or, if you say you accept constructive criticism, don’t go off on someone for pointing out that every other word in your sentences are spelled incorrectly or your grammar needs work. Honestly, if you say you accept it, please don’t cry when you get it and, for the love of Jackson, PLEASE don’t go off on the reviewer. You’re the one that said you accept it. Live with it.

              o If you know that your spelling is horrible… please fix it. Don’t get pissed off when I tell you that you have numerous mistakes and that you should really go over your chapter prior to submitting your chapter or get a beta. I’m so sick and tired of seeing stories with so much potential ruined by horrible grammar, punctuation and spelling. Especially after reading seven in a row. Honestly, how can you expect people to be all nicey-nice with reviews wehn yuo wirte lkie this. Go over your story. Spell check DOES NOT find and fix everything for you. Do you think that Stephanie Meyer would be allowed to get away with that… would we have read her books if they were unedited? No.

            o Also, authors please do not expect your readers to read you profile prior to reading. Yes, this has to do with the review that I left. Apparently, I am supposed to read your profile so I know why you can’t spell or just don’t give a fuck. If I can’t get through your story… how the hell am I supposed to get through your excuses? This brings me to my next point…

           o DON’T MAKE EXCUSES. If you know you have problems in certain areas, for any given reason, strive to fix them. Don’t go in for fifteen chapters and expect no one to point out your flaws.

• To all the reviewers out there in the fandom, this is for you. If an author states they accept cc, DON’T DO IT. Save yourself the hassle and just stop reading. Seriously. I left some cc for one person the other day and I got my ass chewed out.

          o Next, readers, please leave some real feedback. ‘Update soon. I love it,’ don’t really tell me jack diddly. What were your favorite parts/lines? What do you think will happen next? Honestly, anything is better than ‘update soon.’

          o Speaking of the ‘update soon’ thing… fanfiction writers are NOT paid writers. Chances are, they lead busy lives of their own and cannot afford to sit and write twenty-four hours a day. Now, some do have that time but I don’t. I juggle my own story, have a new one in the works, beta for someone, train horses, AND still go to school. I apologize if I don’t have time to ‘update soon.’

• To no one in particular, what the hell is the point of writing a story about a real person? I understand that we all have fantasies and dreams and all that about celebrities but why publish them? You don’t know the person so you don’t know how a person acts. It’s not real life… it’s all pretend. Unfortunately for me, the chances of Jackson Rathbone coming to sweep me off my feet are about the same chances I have of winning the Powerball lottery. Slim and fucking none. So why write about it? And to the people who read them… why? It’s not like it’s real. Are you hoping that somebody actually does know Robert Pattinson and has decided to give you some juicy gossip? I just don’t get it. At all.

• Okay last one, I promise. If you’re a landlord with a really old house… please update the plumbing prior to renting it out. My plumbing completely backed up for two days because of old, not up to date plumbing. Not cool.

Alright dear readers… or reader since I only have one follower, that’s all for this week’s musings. Hopefully this next week will be better.